Transcripts

 Hi and welcome to the Julia Bright Podcast where we delve into deeper meanings of words and uncover what they hide from us.

   I’m your host, Julia Bright! I was a teacher for over 40 years and all that time I’ve also been passionate about researching accelerated learning methods and effective non-violent communication styles.

    In this bi-weekly podcast we’ll dig down deep and explore all secrets of consequential words. 

Words like Geography, Happiness or Love, gender and more. 

First let’s take Geography. Question: Is it a naturally existing phenomenon? Or take Happiness. What exactly is Happiness? Something different for everyone?

And then What’s Love? Is it just a verb or a noun expressing feelings or a group of emotions or more than that?

 So if you are someone who likes to know more than a short definition can give you, then this podcast is for you!

So did I pique your interest? Then tune in bi-weekly, on Wednesdays starting on October  14th, 2026.

You can listen to me on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favourite podcasts. 

Bye for now!

A Podcast About Meaningful Words

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Our podcast is about words whose meanings and our complete understanding make a difference in our lives. I would love to know what the most meaningful word is for you. A special word from your childhood or an important value someone passed on to you? Let me know. 

Hi, welcome to the Julia Bright Podcast, where we dissect and explore crucial, consequential words in our daily life. I wanted to start with the magnificent word Love. I could write a book by now on just this one subject. And while I think it is one of the most important, most vital words for a well balanced, happy life, I decided to leave it for next time. The reason is that the deeper I got into the nature of love, I realized there is another word that has the priority over this, and is part of love as well as part of everything we do or say towards anybody we meet or know about. I strongly believe that it has to be our guiding principle, living our lives effectively and happily at any level of society, from family to local acquaintances and from any human relationship to the whole world. So

Why Respect Comes Before Love

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Today's meaningful word turns out to be respect. Starting from its reflexive nature, self-respect to the utter appreciation and treasuring of our world, earth, and beyond. We will talk about different types, how to show respect and why respect matters, the most important aspects of it. I will attempt to bring the meanings closer to home, with real life examples and warnings. We might hear sentences like “I demand respect. Or if you don't respect me, then you can't expect me to respect you.” Or “I think it's best for you if you stayed with your mother for a week. I already called her and arranged it for you. What? You don't want to go. You will, and you will see that later you appreciate my decision.” Or “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this incident. I just wanted to spare your feelings.” Or “Could you text me when you get there? And when you are finished, I care so much about you I feel better knowing what you're doing. We will see why they are all wrong.”

Self Respect As The Foundation

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But first things first, let's talk about the most essential type of respect. Your own. Self-respect is number one. We can't go on without it to respect others. It will also have a comeback at the end. I wonder if you can guess why. 

Respect yourself. For your peace of mind, accept yourself as you are, and you value your own worth. You might want to work on yourself and reach new levels, but the present is the only time that matters. The past is over, can't change it. The future holds possibilities, but it's not certain. The path you take depends on your decisions in the present. You're here now the way you are. Not perfect, and that's alright. You know your worth and your value. You hold yourself to your own standards. You take care of your body and mind, and you try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. A crucial element of self-respect is to know yourself without any illusions and justifications, without trying to meet your own expectations that have not been realized yet. You would be surprised how many people live in a pink cloud, imagining themselves to be better, stronger, more intelligent, more in control than they really are. So observe yourself and try to be neutral in any situation. Be honest with yourself. Do it just as you would be observing others. The way you speak, the way you respond, how you react in crucial situations. Do you give away your intentions without ever realizing it? Are you reactive and mirror the same words and behavior back in sensitive situations? Are you proactive and take control of the situation and your own emotions or actions? When you know and accept yourself, you are on the right path to become a whole person who is fine with themselves, who can be alone and support themselves or be themselves in any company. Do you honor your own boundaries and do you refuse to accept mistreatment? When you become a whole person, then you can have a relationship with someone who accepts themselves and you can become stronger together. I really despise the notion that you need to find your other half. You will complete each other. If you need to be completed, you still don't know yourself. So you can't have self-respect. If your significant other is not complete, they will lean on you, rely on you day in and out for support. That is not an equal respectful relationship. Self-respect also means being part of a respectful relationship and not putting up with disrespect. Ending in a relationship that is not respectful is a way of respecting yourself. You do care about how your actions impact others. Respect starts with confidence and it is linked to empathy, compassion, integrity, and honesty. So we talked about the primary form of respect.

Respect Without Interfering

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Now let's see what respect is in a broader sense. Every person you know, you can also respect who and what they are at the present. You don't want to change them. You don't want to interfere in their business until they ask for your advice or your opinion. You also want to receive and give honesty. If you feel you need to spare someone's feelings, you don't respect their autonomy, their power to make decisions and deal with their feelings. This is why the sentence,” I just wanted to spare your feelings,” robs them from experiencing discomfort and difficulties. With this misguided attempt, they will be robbed from the opportunity to grow and know themselves deeper. So the next broader level is basic universal respect. It is about other human beings. You don't have to agree with them or develop friendship with them, but treating every human being with fundamental courtesy, dignity, and politeness regardless of their status is a must. This is what you want to receive. So give it. In addition to basic universal respect, interpersonal mutual respect is valuing another person's feelings, differences in opinion, and personal space while listening to the others. Demanding respect as a superior, a parent, a teacher is actually disrespectful. Respect is given and received. It doesn't even have to be earned. That's both universal and interpersonal respect.

Respect In Romantic Relationships

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There is one area in life where we are so invested and emotionally involved that we might forget about ever learning about respect, and we fall back to the ancient offensive way of dealing with issues. This is a romantic relationship, marriage and divorce. Well-mannered, polite partners can become monsters and yell at each other the way their parents, grandparents, or relatives do with each other. Frustration, misunderstanding, and everyday quarrel wears down good manners. 

In a healthy relationship, partners are equal. Neither has authority over the other. Each partner is free to live their own life, which can include deciding to share some aspects of their life with their partner. Also, while we may not always agree with our partner, we choose to trust them and put faith in their judgment. Trust can only be built over time as the relationship progresses and you learn more about each other. It shows the way you treat each other when arguments happen. If you respect each other's opinion, feelings, and fight fair. It's not about controlling someone or making them do what you want them to do. It's about freedom to be yourself and to be loved for who you are. When you can talk openly and honestly, you can listen to each other while valuing each other's feelings and needs and being able to compromise. You speak kindly about each other, you give each other space, support each other's interests, hobbies, and career. You build each other up and honor each other's boundaries. Not just words show disrespect. Even in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship when they don't live together instead of being rude, they can ignore the partner, ghost them for weeks or even months, and they can justify it by saying that they work a lot and they have to deal with family problems. Do you think this justification is valid? Now,

Earned Respect And Real Admiration

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earned respect. It is gaining admiration and regard through consistent competence, integrity and actions over time. You actually honor the other person by giving them an extra bundle of respect. It would be extremely important in the public service, in science and medicine, in how hierarchy is built, and how it can be corrected if it isn't working. Certainly you can respect achievements, success, and great character, but that is only one part of respect. You can admire someone for what they have done in life, even if you don't know them personally. It's actually double the respect if you respect their dignity and treat them with basic courtesy, and respect them for their success or honesty or any other positive traits. You can keep high regards for a humanitarian who gives his time and effort for good causes. You can admire a coworker for their character, you can value the work of a policeman for reinforcing the rules. Admire, keep high regards for, have consideration for value someone. These are descriptions of earned respect on top of universal and interpersonal respect. The authority-based

Authority Respect And Power Traps

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respect is when you recognize legitimate roles, titles or leadership positions within an organization or society. We definitely start off with giving blind ultimate respect to our parents and teachers, and if eventually they are not deserving of our respect, we hesitate for a very long time to admit that. Some of us unfortunately have never experienced real respectful relationships, so they have no idea how it feels to be loved and cared for, not have the experience how to deal with the disrespect when they might have only lived through bullying, arrogance, violence, and nobody ever showed them what real respect looks and feels like. They don't have the vocabulary, the words, how to enhance respect, and which ones are destroying it. In a very hierarchical society, parents and teachers demand respect and teach them to give respect to authority no matter how their actions and words affect you and your loved ones. So even in our society, I find this one tricky. It assumes that you automatically respect the CEO, your superiors, your towns and state politicians. Certainly for them to be able to do their jobs effectively, they need to be given a portion of trust ahead of time, get some credit that they can later live up to, and assume that they are going to do everything in their power to later on earn credible trust and respect. Some people associate respect for authority with having power over someone else. They can have power over people, resources, control, influence people to decide budget, and allocate resources. They make people do what they want them to do, either directly or indirectly. The power to do something is completely different. You have the power to decide yourself, to do whatever makes you happy, makes you fulfilled. The power to do something is empowerment, and it is a threat to someone who doesn't want to give up power over people, profit, and others. Weaponizing insecurities is disrespectful. They bring up stuff that you are uncomfortable with or embarrassed about. They make everything about themselves, and you feel like anything you say will always be wrong. Their toolkit includes bullying, aggression, violence.

What To Do When Disrespected

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So what do you do when you are disrespected? Show people what real respect looks like by being respectful yourself. Communicate clearly because they might not even realize how you are affected. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Tell the person that what they are doing is not okay and be specific. Try to understand their point of view. Give them a chance to change their behavior. It's perfectly fine to end a friendship with people if they can't be respectful and you don't feel safe or comfortable around them. Most of all, spend time with people who are respectful and make you feel safe. Respect doesn't have to come naturally. It's something that everyone can learn and practice.

Spotting Disrespect In Common Phrases

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Now let's go back to our examples from the beginning of this episode. Can you tell what's wrong with the following sentences? “I think it's best for you if you stayed with your mother for a week. I have already called her and arranged it for you. What? You don't want to call? You will, and you will see that later you appreciate my decision.” I have to apologize for this artificial example. I guess I couldn't think of anything else at the moment. But let's take it apart. “I think it's the best for you.” It's an assumption that takes away the other person's right to know what is good for them and what is not. Even a child can be a part of decision making and can express their own opinion. Then “I already arranged it for you” without ever discussing it with the person? Again, even a child should be part of the process of what arrangements are made on their behalf. “You will, and you will see and appreciate my decision.” Really? Forcing someone to do something and then tell them that they are not mature enough to express their opinions? And so later, this authoritative person even demands appreciation! Now the next one. “Could you text me when you get there and when you are finished? I care about you and I feel better knowing what you are doing.” It shows total control. It's not at all about caring or the safety of the other person. Everyone in any relationship has the right to privacy and autonomy and cannot be forced to account for every step they take. And the next one. “If you don't show respect for me, you can't expect me to respect you.” Respect is given and not taken. Whoever says this sentence wants much more than respect. They want power over the other person and don't understand basic universal respect and interpersonal mutual respect. This sentence is disrespectful on its own. So be aware and practice your response to these offensive statements. Protect yourself, your privacy, and your autonomy.

When Influence Becomes Manipulation

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However, self-help gurus in the past 45 years have been teaching shortcuts. How to look self-confident, how to make others trust you, how you can persuade others to do what you want them to do, buy what they are selling. Like those fully loaded, expensive cars. And in politics, how to crush the opponent publicly, humiliate them, and make everyone believe that what you're saying is the only truth. Basically, these self-health book authors, who by the way usually have no credentials of any kind to form opinions and give advice, have been teaching shallow, narcissistic people to overpower common sense so everyone will follow them. And

Respect For Culture Nature And Society

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Lastly, overall respect for our world and civilization. The environmental and cultural respect that is showing stewardship of nature and appreciating diverse cultural traditions and beliefs. Again, capitalists and politicians pick and choose where they omit respect for the environment, for the overall good, opposed to profit and power. That's why I could never be a CEO or a politician. They will always have to consider what and who they will give more respect to than others. Different extents of respect build on each other. It's like herd immunity. The more people have overall respect, the less likely anyone will be infected by rudeness, disrespect. We give each other the vaccine, the immune booster. So we teach each other how to be respectful, value who we are, and no hurtful or harmful acts are allowed in our herd. I said the first and most important thing is self-respect. It is also the last one. We can truly value and take ourselves as we are at the moment. We need to be assured that others strengthen our self-esteem and confidence. Because respect comes and goes tightly with self-esteem and confidence. Especially true when it's a hierarchical relationship. Parents, superiors, politicians need to exercise much more general respect because their influence is wider. There is a huge difference between having power over someone or having power to do something. Parents, teachers, superiors, politicians have the power to consider different interests, harm or benefit, and then carefully make decisions that will benefit the majority and don't do harm. When children grow up with parents and teachers accepting them for who they are and guide them with careful observation and consideration, then the new generation will have a higher respect rate than us. That's what we are promoting, and that is why more and more people need to speak effectively and nonviolently where nobody wants to win and rule over another one. Listen, think, observe, and consider and speak only when you can do that with all levels of respect. So all in all, respect is our guiding principle towards others.

How Respect Builds Trust And Peace

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So let's summarize why respect is crucial. 

Because it builds trust. When we treat each other with regard and fairness, it creates trust between us. 

It enhances relationships. Respect deepens bonds and intimacy in friendship, families, and partners. 

It reduces stress and tension. Valuing other people helps dissolve arguments and lowers daily stress. 

It improves communication. When people feel respected, they feel safe to share their true thoughts and they will listen in return. 

It boosts workplace morale. A respectful work environment prevents bullying, supports fairness and increases job satisfaction. 

It protects personal boundaries. By respecting personal space, you honor individual rights and autonomy.

It promotes peace. Mutual respect allows diverse communities and societies to coexist peacefully. 

It encourages self-respect. Giving respect enforces your own sense of self-worth, and you recognize the traits other people respect you for. 

There are so many aspects of respect, so let's summarize. All in all, respect is our guiding principle towards others. From the only one, our significant other in small family or local groups, to society larger and larger. Respect comes from the basic principle of being humans and honoring the uniqueness of all others. Without respect for authority, society would not exist. That is what civilization is built on. Then again, when we recognize that we are also part of different cultures and even tinier parts of nature in renting our space on Earth, we can appreciate and respect the natural connection and order. That gives the foundation for international human rights. I think it is worth our time to get to know the different human rights charters and to see what we can do as individuals to honor them. That's

Closing Thoughts And How To Connect

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it for me today. Please let me know what you think about this episode and its content. Join our Humanly Genius chat group on Facebook or send me, Julia Bright, a message on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. When you have time, check out our website, humanlygenius.com or juliabright.ca. We are inspired by and will mostly take our topics from our sister podcasts, the Humanly Genius and the Let Your Genius Emerge Podcast. You can listen to me on Spotify, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcast. Bye for now.

 I'm really looking forward to talking to you later.